A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
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We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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