Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
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The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
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I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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