Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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