Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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