Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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