I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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