do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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