Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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