if you like me you must not know who I am
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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