he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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