Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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