why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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