I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize