We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
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The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
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I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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