Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize