I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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