she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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