this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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