I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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