im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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