y did u give ur computer a hand job?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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