As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
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I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
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ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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