one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize