Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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