How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize