Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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