I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
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I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
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i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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