Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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