Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
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I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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