Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long

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  (602): at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long http://tfl.nu/0rd0
  Replies (8) Good night (1015) Bad night (3440) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?

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  (972): The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid? http://tfl.nu/xjdi
  Replies (15) Good night (608) Bad night (3236) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.

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  (650): i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head. http://tfl.nu/fao9
  Replies (9) Good night (1001) Bad night (3315) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT

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  (703): THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT http://tfl.nu/gmdd
  Replies (6) Good night (2727) Bad night (600) Order T-Shirt
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  (+43): View more from

  She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.

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  (+43): She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in. http://tfl.nu/w2z8
  Replies (3) Good night (714) Bad night (2256) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick

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  (204): she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick http://tfl.nu/7rr6
  Replies (5) Good night (893) Bad night (2054) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow

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  (479): everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers (1-479): trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow http://tfl.nu/b3n0
  Replies (9) Good night (1582) Bad night (658)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.

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  (603): Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final. http://tfl.nu/2gn0
  Replies (7) Good night (2491) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.

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  (775): you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is. http://tfl.nu/hp0z
  Replies (6) Good night (1269) Bad night (516) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit

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  (845): Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit http://tfl.nu/mhw5
  Replies (9) Good night (1827) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.

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  (805): Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock. http://tfl.nu/vnzj
  Replies (1) Good night (366) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b

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  (712): This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b http://tfl.nu/chgx
  Replies (2) Good night (462) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"

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  (616): I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!" http://tfl.nu/jxqn
  Replies (3) Good night (740) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.

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  (289): I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward. http://tfl.nu/nn3r
  Replies (4) Good night (290) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates

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  (603): You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates http://tfl.nu/ztgg
  Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (151) Order T-Shirt

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