Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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