Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You dont lie about slip and slides
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize