Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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