I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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