when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I have post one night stand depression
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