shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize