So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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