she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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