please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
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You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
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Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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