He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I wear drunk well.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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