Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
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I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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