return my video game
You're so nebulous sometimes
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize