Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
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Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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