Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize