And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize