I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize