Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize