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You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
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