I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We need to rekindle our bromance
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We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
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If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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