make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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